Aliens Are Not Pets
by Simply Hopeless
Summary: The inspiring chef, Naruto, has the worst luck with animals. Birds, cats, dogs, anything considered a pet hates Naruto's guts. So when three alien infatuated cats stumble into Naruto's life claiming him as master, with more on the way, he gets more than he bargained for. NaruIta NaruSasu NaruKimi and possible NaruNeji, NaruGaa, NaruHaku later on. Yaoi
1. Once Upon a Sudden Crash

Hello Simply Hopeless here with a new story for you. I came up with this story while petting one of my tuxedo cat's bottle brush tails. It's so fluffy I couldn't resist him and his purring like a tiny lawnmower on top of my chest. So I thought to myself, Naru-chan should have a cute cat like this and not just any cat, a cat boy. I love odd Naru-chan pairings and I thought Kimi-kun would make a beautiful cat boy, but let's be honest; Sasuke and Itachi are beautiful, selfish, independent and as unpredictable as a cat would be. So without knowing it there were three cats vying for Naruto's affections. And just to make this extra special, since cat stories have been done more than a few times in fanfics, I made them alien felines. It's plausible. Have you ever seen a cat's eyes glowing at night, it's a spooky kind of awesomeness. Now that have you seen my weird logic in creating this story I hope you enjoy and leave a comment on the story. Hopefully if it's one of the stories that get high reviews I'll continue updating it the rest of the year.

'_You're so hypnotizing/  
Could you be the devil/  
Could you be an angel/  
Your touch magnetizing/  
Feels like I am floating/  
Leaves my body glowing'_

~E.T. by Katy Perry

**Aliens are Not Pets**

Chapter One: Once Upon a Sudden Crash

We come into this world, naked and afraid. We are unsure of what is waiting on the other side as we are forced out of our warm cocoons into the harsh and cold terrain of the real world. We are needy, greedy things wanting to be reassured that the strange people and things around us are friendly and have only the best intentions for us. Or that was at least what the nameless extraterrestrial felt when he entered this world, more like crash-landed unexpectedly.

His first tangible thoughts, once he regained consciousness were, '_It hurts… Everything… It hurts, from my ears all the way down to my tail._'

It was more than a few minutes before turquois orbs managed to blink back the shimmering film of tears that had begun to accumulate behind his eyelids as he finally managed to shimmy and wiggle the last bit of himself from the crumpled wreckage that was his stolen space ship. The space traveler had ungracefully dropped headfirst, a foot or two, down onto what was left of a snow-covered knoll after his vehicle had gotten through with it.

His breathe was knocked clean from his already battered body upon impact; his bleeding lips gaped open to greedily take in the much needed air while unconsciously tasting the metallic, bitter-sweetness of his own blood. Licking his bloody, chapped lips, he vaguely realized somewhere in the back of his mind that the environment that he had crash-landed into was inhabitable enough that he could breathe without his lungs collapsing or imploding in on itself. But the cold substance that was under him and swirled around him in dizzying white tufts was already burning his many exposed cuts and bruises.

Gritting his teeth together the extraterrestrial let out a steady hiss of pain like a punctured balloon as he gingerly shifted from his back to his stomach in order to better survey not only the damage to his space vessel but the world he was now inhabiting. Rapidly blinking back more tears, he pushed his palms against what appeared to be frozen water. He wrinkled his nose in distaste, hating the substance already on the principle that he was a cat and water in any form, whether liquid or solid, was a cruel mistress; but he bore with it to look at the small spaceship that he had 'borrowed'.

The nameless alien swore in his native tongue as he looked at his vehicle that looked more like a trash compacted can then the ill-begotten transportation that had rescued him from his god awful planet. It was clear, even from a novice who had never driven a spaceship until recently, that nothing could be salvaged after a crash like that except for whatever the feline male had managed to carry on his person. He was more than sure that if it wasn't for 'the devil's luck' that he was rumored to have and his superior bone density; that seemed only second strongest to the strongest, precious metal on his home planet, then he would have been just as compressed and unsalvageable as the spaceship embedded in the sizable crater.

He had stolen the spaceship in the first place in hopes of finding a planet where he could be accepted despite being a bad omen on his own home planet. He had stubbornly refused to believe that being an albino, an obvious genetic defect, could result in a global shunning where he was forced to live on the outskirts of civilization fending for himself by stealing and accepting charity where he could. He knew that he deserved better but it was hard to believe that when his spaceship was thrown off course by a meteor shower that tore a portion off the vehicle, before the auto-pilot malfunctioned as he tried to deter his transportation from being sucked by the gravitational pull of the planet he had crashed onto.

The feline alien had tried his best to deter the ships descent but by that time everything was utter anarchy. All he could do was brace for impact and hope to Kami that he made it through it in one piece and he did. But just because he had made it through the aftermath of the collision, didn't mean he was safe on this strange planet as he instinctively began to crawl to safety. There wasn't that much in the way of foliage that could completely hide him. A few bare trees, an iron and wood park bench every few kilometers, a wilted flower garden and a clump of bushes a few yards away.

The outcast was determined that with the last bit of strength he would drag his battered body within the leafy domain of the bushes before he collapsed from sheer exhaustion and pain. But he was unable to complete his goal, his body failing him as his cold fingers managed, after a few painstaking minutes, to brush one glossy leaf that had yet to browned up and die. Turquoise eyes were by this point too tired to stay open as he practically curled his body around the only item he owned in the world, a small white flower suspended within a clear ball; his only friend in the world.

ELSEWHERE AT THAT SAME MOMENT

A blonde chef swirled his pan of sautéed onions, plump white rice, and mushrooms with the help of his wooden spoon. Occasionally he would pause to taste it with a special spoon before humming and sprinkling some sort of spice among the plethora offered in the spice rack next to him. He only abandoned the pan to finish basting a duck that was in danger of drying out before returning back to the task at hand.

"Hey Chouji, could you put that back in the oven for me and then check and see if my beef wellingtons are done yet? Thanks. I need them like yesterday," he called over his shoulder before wiping his sweaty forehead against his sleeve.

Half of the kitchen staff and one-third of the wait staff had come down with the flu that was going around. It left him and the limited few to man the stations on the cusp of one of the worst blizzards reportedly heading their way. Normally they would have closed down early despite whatever protests the workaholic blonde might have but the Ando wedding party had book their restaurant months in advance and until they finished serving them, no one could go home. The blonde chef was about to pick up his wooden spoon again to stir but found that it was in the hands of his high-maintenance boss, one Tsunade Sannin.

"Hey Baa-chan I can do a simple risotto so fork over the spoon. It's going to burn if it's neglected too long," snapped the perfectionist. She didn't seem to understand that this was his opportunity to shine and rise among his rank. He might not be the head chef, who unfortunately succumbed to the flu, or the second-in-command Sous-chef, who wasn't sick but was attending his sick wife and children. But he could at least be a Chef-de-partie if they gave him half a damn chance.

"You are always so passionate about your work which is a good thing but then you completely forget about yourself, Gaki. You look so flushed already and really the restaurant won't suffer if it is closed for a few days," the buxom blonde began to placate her headstrong chef. She admired the young man's determination but she saw all her staff as her big dysfunctional family and would rather have their health come before any profit or gain.

"I have a strong constitution Baa-chan," the young man huffed before taking the pan off the stove. It was going to burn at that rate and he wasn't going to serve burnt, overcooked anything to his customers. He quickly tasted it, deemed it ready and began the process of plating the mushroom risotto before continuing his explanation.

"I haven't been sick since fourth grade when Yuki Matsuyama gave me chicken pox. I'm pretty sure I'd know when I'm sick and besides… I doubt there is really going to be a blizzard. You know how those weather people can be. They aren't always right about these things. Just the other day that weathergirl, Rinka Waka—" He was finally cut off after prattling on while he walked to set the steaming dish on the counter, added the last garnishes, and watched as it was taken by one of the wait staff.

"It's not what **you** will allow Naruto," Tsunade began in an all-business tone. It was one of her more lucid days; her sharp amber eyes, shone with a fierceness that wasn't hidden behind the haze of too much alcohol. "I am the owner of the restaurant. But I'm not making this request simply as your boss but as a concerned friend. Go home kiddo or I'll dropkick your ass into next week," she began warmly before slapping his shoulder to emphasis her formidable strength.

"You really have the oddest ways of showing your concerned," grumbled Naruto. But seeing that his boss wasn't going to budge on this issue he sighed in defeat and began the process of cleaning his workstation while assigning his cooking tasks to his other co-workers.

AN HOUR LATER, AT HIS APARTMENT COMPLEX

Naruto was still feeling a bit frustrated when he parked his car in front of his apartment complex. He winced slightly when he slammed the car door too hard in his growing agitation before patting the hood apologetically for taking his frustration out on her. "It's not your fault girl," he murmured before he walked on, adjusting his packages as he went.

"Yusuke, you look very bundled up." Naruto commented cheerfully as he greeted the doorman who quickly swung the door open for him.

"Haven't you heard? There is going to be a big snowstorm tonight sir," informed the muffled voice of the doormen through his red-checkered scarf.

"What did I tell you about calling me sir? My father is a sir? My lecherous grandfather is possibly a sir, but that ain't me. Call me Naruto or I'll stop bringing you goodies from the restaurant," the blonde scolded lightly. His smile had barely slackened in his lecture as he handed the doorman a brown bag. "It's guineas hens with herbed potatoes and grazed carrots and for dessert I prepared apple and walnut salad. I hope you and your wife enjoy but anyway since you and Baa-chan are so concerned about the weather I better get my jogging out of the way quickly before all that blizzard stuff happens. Won't be able to take my morning jog in snow, you know," he explained appealingly.

"There is always the fitness center inside si… er… Naruto," the old doorman began to insist. He and his wife thought of the young man as the son they never had and not only enjoyed the blonde's occasional culinary treats but his company as well. So through Naruto's encouragement to be less formal with the tenant, he felt it important to suggest a safer alternative. Although, if his wife Tsubaki was here she'd insist Naruto march himself to bed before he welcomed a cold with open arms.

"It's really not the same as a scenic route and fresh air. I'll make sure to make it a quick jog but in case I don't get back in time please let the Uchihas in. I don't need to worry about locking my door because they already have a spare key; even though I never gave them one, the smug bastards," he grumbled the last bit to himself before smiling apologetically and rubbing his head sheepishly at the doorman.

"But you invite them practically every night," Yusuke replied in bemusement. He had thought that the three men were best friends the way the Uchihas had come over so much it seemed they practically lived there already.

"Yeah, somehow they managed to worm their way in and I don't know… a part of me feels if I really kick them out they won't come back. I guess… I guess that would kind of suck," he admitted reluctantly. "But that's not happening anytime soon so anyway, I'll probably see you on my way out again and tell the missus I said hi," chirped up Naruto before walking through the door.

Naruto was determined to go out. He had see-sawed on the decision for a while now on the drive over to his home but finally came to a decision after peeking through his balcony door to see the beginning of snow lazily fluttering down against the city landscape.

There was enough of the white stuff to actually stick but if the weatherman was right they would be getting more than a foot of snow by the end of the night. But the blonde wanted to get his jog out of the way now because his morning jog time would be wasted in unearthing his car before going to work, unless his insane boss decided to close the restaurant which was probably likely. Regardless with a final tug of his shoelace strings, and an adjustment to the temperature of his oven, he made his way out of the door.

His keys jingled as he stuffed them inside the pocket of his black Adidas hoodie; his other hand quickly flicked to a better song on his iPod as he altered his course so he could jog down the stairs. Even if he personally chose all the songs on his workout playlist, it didn't necessarily mean that all of them were winners or enough to pump him up in the right way each time.

Naruto's teeth ground together as soon as he left the slight chill of the stairwell to burst into the frigid cold of the outside world. He nodded to the dumbstruck doorman, Yusuke, , flashing him a dazzling smile before he continued to move. The trick was that if he kept in constant movement and focused on the blast of Outkast or some other person singing in his ear, then he wouldn't need to think about how the cold was already trying to penetrate his thin sweat suit and harden his nipples.

'Fuck but it was cold,' he thought as he viciously tugged his hoodie strings to cover more of his face. His nipples felt as hard as diamonds and he had to fight the strongest urge to make a complete u-turn and seek sanctuary in his toasty apartment. He could be relaxing in a hot bath right now waiting for his dinner guests to arrive but he stubbornly refused to allow himself to miss the chance to feel alive when running. For a short time he had been on the track team before he realized his true love was cooking. But that didn't mean he didn't like to indulge in a morning/nightly jog. It was all about mind over matter and Naruto realized as he continued to move and get into the groove of Kanye West's Stronger; he could barely feel the cold now.

'_Work it harder, make it better,  
do it faster, makes us stronger,  
more than ever, never over,  
Our work is never over._

[Chorus:]  
Now that don't kill me  
Can only make me stronger  
I need you to hurry up now  
'cause I can't wait much longer  
I know I got to be right now  
'cause I can't get much wronger  
Man I've been waitin' all night now  
That's how long I've been on you'

A steady puff of smoke unfurled from chapped lips as the blonde male soon found himself at the park, more than a few blocks away from his apartment complex. The blonde jogger suddenly paused, head cocked to the side as if to hear something over the blare of his headphones. He didn't quite understand how anyone could penetrate the loud music but again, he could clearly hear someone's plea.

'Someone… please… help.'

He scanned the snowy landscape trying to pinpoint who was calling to him. A shiver ran down his spine, not from the penetrating cold but the eeriness of the situation. Naruto walked a few steps, eyes still searching for something he didn't quite know yet. But once again came to a halt as he stared mystified at the body of a naked male, curled up against a fresh blanket of snow. He would have wondered if he had somehow stumbled onto a crime scene except for the fact that the cold had made the stranger's milky pale skin, an angry, flushed pink. It tinged blue at certain points of the body like fingertips and lips.

He muted his music player and looked cautiously around him from any assistance; but only he was stupid enough to go jogging in the park with the snow coming down in fluffy clumps. He could have easily walked away. This wasn't his problem and the naked person could be fairly dangerous but he couldn't. He wasn't that kind of guy. It was clear to the blonde that this strange man didn't belong here. He had never seen someone so pale and yet so flushed with color. Maybe it was the strange man's small dainty wrists and ankles or the way the sensual curve of his bare back showed each and every last bump of his spine before rounding off into an ample, peach soft rear end in the pale moonlight. But before Naruto could analyze the reasons further, the ethereal creature flickered like a badly tuned television screen before diminishing into the form of a white housecat.

He fell on his rear-end trying to scramble backwards at the strange sight. It was one thing to see a naked guy laying face down in the freezing cold and yet another thing to have that same person turn themselves into a four legged creature. 'Maybe I am already coming down with something…' he thought weakly to himself. He quickly scrambled up to his feet, determined to leave the cat person alone when he heard that call again.

'Someone… please… help.'

"Is it you that's been calling me?" he questioned, back to the cat before slowly turning around. He didn't want to believe it but something inside him told him it was true. He was just an average chef. Sure he was a good Samaritain and picked up the occasional litter and placed it in the trash but he also didn't run into any buildings. So why…

"What are you doing out here this late at night? Didn't you hear the weather advisory?" cane the harsh voice of a bespectacled police officer.

Naruto carefully scooped up the feline, unsure. He barely acknowledged the strange markings it had on its white face before quickly speaking up. "I… uh… he's my cat. I was going for my nightly jog when he escaped out the door. I couldn't let the poor guy freeze outside, now could I officer?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Well, run along then. There's been odd things happening tonight and I wouldn't feel right if I let you remain out here in this cold

"Yeah, I'll do that," Naruto said, carefully unzipping his hoodie to draw the strange cat inside. With a quick wave he started off in the opposite direction back to his home, he'd have to figure this mystery out when he was warm and away from prying eyes.

"Kabuto, did you find it? Did you find the alien from the space crash?"came the crackling of a walkie talkie once the jogger left.

"No Orochimaru, just some dumb guy jogging with his cat," muttered the fake police officer. He then clicked off his walkie talkie after hearing something else from his superior before he began to scan the area with his flashlight. "That alien couldn't have gone far."


	2. Try a Little Tenderness

Hello, Simply Hopeless here with a new chapter for you. I would like to thank those two people who actually reviewed this story. I really think this will turn out to be a good story and I hope people will agree as it starts to expand. If you like it please comment on the chapter, it would so make my day. Other than that, please enjoy.

**Aliens Are Not Pets**

Chapter Two: Try a Little Tenderness

"I… Iruka-sensei… I n… need your help," stuttered Naruto, teeth chattering from the cold.

He had made his way home at a quick pace with one big hand cupping the white cat's bottom so that he wouldn't slip from the safety of his hoodie. Periodically the blonde would peek inside his hoodie to see if the shivering cat inside was still breathing while pressed against his sweaty body; but each time the now awake cat would give a weak mew in response before pressing its cold face back against his chest. It made the blonde flinch at the cold, wet face that he could feel through his thin shirt, but he only patted the cat's bottom reassuringly before continuing at his brisk pace.

"What is it Naruto? You aren't outside are you?" A male voice came over the phone in full-lecture mode.

"Eheh, about that Iruka-sensei…" Naruto chuckled nervously, feeling the sudden urge to fidget and scratch the back of his head. He knew the brunette on the phone was one of the very few people that he couldn't lie to and was already tempted to confess like a schoolboy caught red-handed.

"**Baka!**" screeched the brunette on the phone. He accurately interpreted that hesitant laugh and those four reluctant words. "You're even more of a simpleton and health nut than your own father is and that's saying something. But at least that blonde oaf is smart enough not to go out into this kind of weather. It's a blizzard for crying out loud? Didn't your boss Tsunade dismiss you from work in enough time to get home? Do I have to have a talking with her, again?" Iruka asked in disapproval.

"Nag, nag, nag, I'm twenty-two Iruka-sensei, not twelve and it's not like she was some teacher holding me back for detention. If work demands it I will gladly stay behind but yeah… She did let me out early. I wanted to stay but she insisted and so to run off some pint of energy I decided to jog outside because at the time there was only a few flurries out," Naruto began to explain in his frustration and exasperation. He honestly didn't see the reason why he had ever wished he had a mother when his father's close friend was as mothering as it could get.

He stopped just as he got to the apartment doors. Yusuke quickly bustled out to open the door for him, his hand holding a plate with Naruto's halfway eaten dinner. The blonde nodded his head in approval at the fact the old man decided to dig in while the food was still popping hot. Quickly he stomped off the excess snow from his feet and the bottom of his pants legs before he stepped inside the toasty apartment complex with Yusuke close behind. He knew he was going to get an earful from the brunette and the older man didn't fail to deliver.

"Don't 'at the time me', Naruto Uzumaki. Did Yusuke-san tell you about the workout room? I would think that he had better sense then you apparently do. Is he around? Put him on if he is," grumbled Iruka displeased.

Naruto could hear Iruka shifting something in the background before he let out a sigh of defeat and shoved his cell phone at his doorman who looked at him askance. "Iruka, wants to speak to you," he murmured sheepishly.

"Yusuke-san, I thought you told me that you and your wife think of him as your son? What father would honestly let their child out on a day like this?" Iruka asked truly perplexed.

"Well sir, I did indeed," the old man responded promptly once he heard the man out. "To think he'd go out with such thin clothes on, I couldn't tell my wife for fear she'd follow the boy out with a proper coat and winter gear," the old man replied, a bit perplexed at the need for young people to hurry.

"What will we ever do with that boy?" tsked Iruka on his end. There seemed to be the sound of water running on his end of the phone followed by the soft clinking of dishes as he was most likely washing them.

"I honestly don't know. Sometimes my wife worries about him too much and insists he comes to our house every once in a while so he can have proper company," offered the old man, hopefully.

"Enough!" Naruto roared out and quickly snatched up the phone from the doorman. He hadn't heard Iruka's side of the conversation but he could just imagine the earful he gave Yusuke. He looked both frustrated and apologetic at Yusuke before he quietly dismissed himself and began to march his way to his apartment.

"So what's wrong Mr. Twenty-two? You called for a reason, right?" demanded the brunette. It was obvious that he was still miffed that the blonde didn't care much for his health and on top of that he had snapped at both Yusuke and himself. He would have continued to mutter how ungrateful kids are today but he could hear a distinctive, albeit weak, mew. "Is that a cat? I thought most animals hate—" Iruka began in his bemusement before Naruto quickly cut him off while hitting the elevator button to take him to the fourth floor.

"You don't have to remind me Iruka-sensei. I know that most animals hiss, bite, scratch or run away at the sight of me. Why, I don't fucking know," he ground out. The blonde had always wanted a pet of his own but nothing furry, scaly or feathery would stay by his side without some altercation. One time in a last ditch move, his father had offered him a goldfish in a bowl and that damn, little fish committed suicide two weeks into his ownership, by jumping out of his bowl just to escape him.

"I can still remember that time when you walked into my office and Mrs. Sato's ailing cat tried to scratch your eyes out. I never seen Mr. Buttons move that much in his whole life and at that time he was getting on in years," murmured Iruka in awe. Unless it was an immediate emergency the veterinarian didn't allow Naruto near the vet office for fear of what catastrophe might unfold.

"I'm well aware of that painful fact," Naruto snapped bitterly. Iruka just seemed to have a knack for adding salt to injury but he had enough of traveling down memory lane. Well you're a veterinarian, right? And well… I found this poor cat in the snow. He was unconscious at the time but he's awake now. I'm not sure how long he had been lying in that snow but he hasn't stopped shivering ever since I put him inside my coat for warmth. And to be honest it's kind of strange that he hasn't tried to attack me once in order to escape," Naruto admitted worriedly. He never liked to be attacked, especially by animals but he had gotten used being on the defensive when near any furry creatures.

"He's probably lethargic and facing hypothermia. But you say he's awake?" asked Iruka, now on full alert. He had stopped making himself dinner and the sound of something scraping was heard as the brunette drew back a chair to sit in.

"Yes. When I check inside my hoodie to make sure he's still breathing, he lets out a weak mew," admitted Naruto.

"Well that's a good sign. As soon as you get in your home I need you to check his temperature so I can fully gauge out what I'm dealing with," Iruka gently instructed the blonde. The brunette took a look out his kitchen window wondering if it was plausible to even drive out in that mess but shook his head sadly in defeat. If he was lucky he would be able to make it to the blonde in two or three days after unearthing his car and waiting for the snow plow to clear the streets.

"Won't he gag on the thermometer?" Naruto asked, worriedly as he quickly opened and closed the door to his apartment. He gravitated towards his crème colored coach where he sat down and carefully extracted the shivering cat who mewed piteously at the loss of warmth. He smiled distractedly at the damp feline, setting him on his lap where it was less cramp before gently stroking his fur to reassure him. He was so distracted by the look of startled surprise as the cat began to purr like a little motor, that he practically missed what his mentor said next. "Wait… what did you just say?" Naruto requested, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"I said, he won't gag on the thermometer because you are going to check his rectal temperature. But before you go spluttering and looking for other ways, there aren't any. I wish I could go over there but that's impossible. So I need you to make sure this cat makes it through this storm and for that to happen I need you to take his temperature," Iruka insisted, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I don't have a cat thermometer or anything. I do have one for humans that's never been used…" trailed off Naruto reluctantly. He sat the cat to the side and stood only for the white feline to mew piteously for his warmth and comforting touch. Naruto couldn't help but to smile wryly as he picked up the wet, furry mass before padding towards his bathroom.

'I must have been seeing things earlier. Obviously this cat isn't some nudist, cosplaying cat boy,' he thought to himself while retrieving the unused thermometer. Naruto had no need to open it until now because he never got sick but Iruka had insisted that a thermometer and a basic first aid kit was crucial, regardless of his healthy status.

"Okay, how do I go about this?" he asked while standing in the bathroom. If he needed anything else in there he wanted to know now versus walking all the way back to his crème couch only to get back up again.

"Well first I want you to lubricate the tip of the thermometer so it can go in smoothly. You can use Vaseline or some other kind of lubricates to do this. But once you have lubricated the tip I want you to hold the cat tightly to your side so he doesn't struggle. Now once you have pinned down, gently guide the tip inside about an inch… inch and a half inside. Hit the button and wait until it beeps twice before taking it out and read me the temperature," Iruka gently instructed. He knew that he would be repeating himself as the blonde performed his task but he rather he asked the silly questions now versus there being a mistake later.

Naruto grabbed the small tub of Vaseline from his medicine cabinet before grabbing a towel from his linen closet. He then proceeded to the couch again and gentle settled down, easing the reluctant cat to his side. "You heard the doc; I have to take your temperature now. So be a good boy and I'll make you a treat," Naruto murmured soothingly. He slowly turned the cat around so his rear end was facing him before he drew the cat close to his side like Iruka had told him.

"So draw him to my side and…" trailed off Naruto to Iruka. He was hesitant to use the thermometer on the cat's pucker but it was a necessary evil. He slid the metal tip inside the cat, making distracted comforting sounds when the cat tried to squirm under his grip. He then exhaled in relief when the thermometer beeped twice alerting him of his temperature before he read it out loud to Iruka.

"His temperature is a little low. So what I want you to do now is make sure that he is properly dry and then wrap him in some blankets so that he can warm up slowly. You'll also have to take his temperature in ten more minutes and keep taking in ten minute intervals into it at least reaches 99F. When it gets to that point you can offer the cat some milk and honey if he's willing to take it," Iruka said in a professional tone.

"Can I bath him, if it's in lukewater? He's a bit damp but he's also more than a little dirty," Naruto supplied. He then scratched the feline under his chin to reassure him he didn't mean it as an offense.

"If it's necessary but don't be surprised if the cat doesn't enjoy your brand of cleanliness. Lay a towel on the bottom of the kitchen sink so that the feline doesn't slip and hurt his self further when he tries to wiggle free. Reassure him when he starts crying and then when you are done make sure you properly dry him. Maybe put a towel in the dryer so when you are done he can be wrapped in something warm," suggested Iruka thoughtfully.

The sound of metal clinking against something hard alerted the blonde to the fact that the brunette had made himself some tea or other hot beverage some time into their conversation. "Good idea Iruka-sensei," chirped up Naruto eagerly. He stood up with his furry bundle, prepared to do just that.

"Like I said before, continue to check his temperature every ten minutes and if anything dramatically changes please don't hesitate to call. I trust you to take proper care of him since you took him in and make sure he doesn't do anything too strenuous. He needs plenty of rest," Iruka said with a stern tone.

"Will do, I'll take it from here," Naruto said as his way of goodbye. Before the worried vet could say anything further or pester him on how he came about finding the cat. "Well you heard the doc, first let's get you cleaned so we can see that handsome coat of yours and then we'll do everything else."

He sat the oddly marked cat on his couch for a moment before going into his hall closet to retrieve a thick blanket and towel. He sat the towel to the side of the sink and tossed the other to cycle in the dryer for a bit. He then returned to weakly protesting cat so he could gently bathe the pure white feline in a warm bath of water. Gently, he shushed any weak mews of protests, his lips rambling words of comfort as he washed off flecks of dirt before finally drawing the cat inside a slightly worn but still fluffy towel.

Once done, he carefully carried the cat to the living room and sat lengthwise against the surface, his hands gently patting the cat dry. "Did you wander far from home, little one?" he cooed. He then swaddled the mostly dry animal in his blanket, reassuring the mewing feline that he would be back shortly before he stood up to put his already prepped food into the oven to cook. Hand scratching the back of his head, he wondered how the cat would react to him once he was back to his senses. Even if he didn't know the cat quite that well it would hurt if the cat outright rejected him after he took such awesome care of him. So wrapped up was Naruto in his own thoughts that he jumped a little when he felt a bump against his shin and a piteous mew.

"Hungry, I guess?" he asked the cat, brow raised. He had hoped the cat would stay obedient and stay on the couch but that was too much to ask for as the cat bumped his head against his shin once more before mewing piteously up at him. Naruto tried to fight back another smile as perused his fridge, wondering if the milk inside was any good before remembering that he still had a small carton of crème and a bit of honey to help the hypothermic cat.

He sat a shallow bowl filled with crème down and with some satisfaction that he was able to accommodate his impromptu guest before he turned to check on his dinner. He honestly doubted by this point that the Uchiha brothers would be able to come out by this point. It was coming down so hard that Naruto could barely tell it was night. But that didn't mean he couldn't eat something more than the ramen that had been a staple diet of his childhood since his father was such a terrible cook.

Naruto was so startled, when he glanced back down at the cat, to see instead a nude male that had come to delicately lap up the offered crème that he had dropped his turkey baste he was using on the roasting ducks. He sucked in a gasp as those luminous sea glass orbs darted up towards him to look at him in frightened curiosity. There was a quiet sensuality about the albino male that was definitely feline the way his rump curved upward in the air, displaying a slender white tail, while his back bowled low so that both his torso and limp cock skimmed against the cold wood polished floor. There was no denying that the foreign cat that he had brought in earlier was the same feline not that he could see him in the harshness of the fluorescent lighting.

Naruto didn't know what to do at first but stare with mouth gapping open as the alien cat took tentative licks of the crème while keeping an eye on the blonde human. He honestly didn't know if he could call his old mentor and ask 'what to do when your cat turns out to be a naked cat boy?' He'd think he was taking acid or having a feverish delusion and most likely scold him so more.

So the frazzled chef escaped reality by trying to ignore how the long, white mane of hair contrasted so well with pale shoulders by prepping some more food. He would make fresh string beans, homemade mashed potatoes and follow it off with a bottle of red wine. He took out his potato peeler and masher before jumping and letting out a rather undignified squeak when he felt the head of the cat boy rubbing against his side. Quickly he did damage control, making soft shushing noises when the frightened cat boy crawled backwards, startled.

"I'm sorry boy, I didn't mean to frighten you," he cooed. He cursed inwardly for getting hard at just the image of that lithe body rubbing up against his pants leg. Just because he hadn't slept with anyone in a while didn't mean he could jump the poor cat and have his dirty way with him. No matter how arousing the situation was, he had promised Iruka-sensei that he would take care of this furry creature, no matter how unfurry he was right now. So Naruto made a show of showing the albino cat that he held nothing harmful in his hand before offering the limp hand for the cat boy to sniff and decide whether it was okay to come closer.

"Uzumaki residence, Naruto speaking," the blonde answered distractedly picking up his house phone immediately when it rang. He didn't want to make sudden movements for fear the humanoid cat would take off somewhere and hide under his bed or something.

"Hey Dobe, did you forget you were supposed to cook for us?" asked a disgruntled male voice. "I've been trying to call you for the last half hour but it kept saying that you were busy."

How the hell was the blonde supposed to explain that the reason he was so busy was because he had been feeding and taking the temperature of a naked guy who had cautiously went back to licking crème from a bowl in his kitchen. He wasn't much into S&M and this was looking like some real freaky, kinky shit.

"You have a cat?" The male asked accusingly after the pregnant silence was followed by a tentative mew from somewhere else in the room.

"Um… yeah… I've been feeling lonely since Sakura and I broke up. You should realize at some point in time, Sasuke, I was going to get an animal. Well if they could stand me enough for me to get one," he amended. He suddenly remembered the reason why he broke up with his ex before Sakura was because Kiba's dog, Akamaru would bark his head off and try to bite him every time he came to pick up his boyfriend for a date. Their relationship had been so strained that it was inevitable that the dog lover would leave him for his furry best friend. It still hurt like shit to be rejected like that, which made the fact that the albino cat had not outwardly rejected, all the more significant.

"I offered you a chance at two handsome tuxedo cats," grumbled Sasuke over the phone. He sounded like he was scowling, whatever that might sound like.

"The smallest one was a little too demanding for my tastes. Besides for some reason I got this complete douchebag feel from him. It was a complete turn off," sighed out Naruto, distractedly. He had moved to his state-of-the-art oven and checked the ducks. He basted the duck in its own juices with a new turkey baste before he made sure the cat boy hadn't wandered off.

"Is that so?" Sasuke said bitingly.

"Now, now Otouto, Naruto is allowed to choose whatever pet he wants. No need to hiss at him," Itachi said coolly, slightly amused.

"You have me on speaker phone?" asked Naruto, surprised. He hadn't expected to hear the deep, seductive timbre of the elder Uchiha.

"Yes, sorry if I didn't announce my presence sooner," Itachi said sincerely. He was nothing if not polite, which made having the two around the blonde slightly bearable.

All the while the blonde man was distracted, talking to the people on the phone; the alien cat had a moment to reflect on the human in front of him. The blonde had gently attended to him once he gained full consciousness. He hadn't wasted time rescuing him from the eye glass wearing human and had kept him warm against his chest even though the alien knew he must have been very cold. When the alien cat closed his eyes he could still remember the feeling of warm flesh against his fur and the comforting swooshing of a strong heartbeat under his ear. He blushed at the idea of the man gently washing him in warm water and gently rubbing his back. It made him yearn for more touches that his body had been denied for so long.

So boldly, decision made, he ventured to crawl closer to the male. He practically preened, as those blue eyes raked hungrily across his body. He tingled all over, never feeling this desirable before. He rubbed his side up against Naruto's leg, demanding the human to pet him, his sea-glass eyes demanding and a pout forming on his plump, pink lips. If he could understand what the human was saying or talk in his tongue, then he'd voice his demand. But he settled for stretching upward, pink nipples scraping up against the rough material as he stretched in a yawn, white ears flattening while eyes and mouth all but demanded. 'Get off the phone and stroke me.'

"Dobe are you there? You went silent for a while?" Sasuke asked, a bit in concern.

Naruto stupidly blinked at the cordless house phone in his hands before he distracted rubbed the silky scalp of the suddenly purring cat boy. "A… As much as I wo… would really li… like talking to the both of you, I… I have a little one I… I need to… to attend to. I fo… fo… found the small guy in the sn… sn… snow and Iruka-sensei told me to… to check his temp… temperature _rectally_ every hour or so, so... The… the food is re… ready though so you can… you can make a plate, n… no worries," he stuttered out in conciliation. He couldn't say anything to intelligent when all the blood was rushing to his other head. It was all he could do not to rush out the kitchen and into a cold shower in the bathroom.

"We wouldn't want to inconvenience you—" Itachi began sounded also worried. He wondered inwardly what could rattle the usually in-control blonde.

"Inconvenience him? What about us? I was looking forward all day to a home cooked meal and then this idiot goes and—" Sasuke bit out viciously before Itachi interrupted him in turn.

"Are you seriously jealous of a mere housecat, Otouto? "asked the elder Uchiha in surprise.

Naruto cleared his throat, barely hearing the two brothers arguing back and forth. His hands had been combing through the silken, snowy strands of the humanoid cat, his breath hitching at the feline's blessed out look. "Don't worry about it Sasuke and Itachi. You can come over with the roads aren't blocked," he said distractedly, clicking the phone off before Sasuke could say 'I'm coming over now'. Naruto quickly backed away from the cat who sinuously stalked him on all fours, his cock now half-hard.

'How the hell am I going to give this cat a rectal temperature check now without something else happening?' he thought panicking. His dirty mind was already conjuring pictures of the albino man sitting on his lap, arching up to get away from the cold feel of the hard thermometer sliding inside his twitching hole. How would he look? Would he leaned back eagerly against it when he got used to it? Or would he thrust his naked chest forward and against him in order to escape the weird object? All of those questions darted in his head and it was with a cry of frustration that he darted towards his bathroom door and locked it.

"Fuck if I'm not screwed," he mumbled under his breath before he heard a needy mew and scratching against the door.


End file.
